Advice on Love Triangles: The wholesome threesome
Pop legend Madonna once wrote a song describing love as “a physical attraction… a chemical reaction.” Now that we know the characteristics of love, it’s time we find out what really makes up the chemistry of love. What definitely is love made of? Let’s use an analogy.
Think of a triangle or, better still, a three-legged stool, with all the fruit salad served on a bowl that’s gently placed on top of the stool. What props them all up? Think of those three legs as passion, intimacy, and commitment. These are the three main elements of love.
You’ve heard these three words before and they float on your mind every now and then, right? Now, think of these three elements as three step of a short staircase, in the successive order of passion, intimacy, and commitment. Each element to the stage where you can develop and maintain true love.
Advice on Love Triangles: THE POWER OF PASSION
Did you see that young girl strolling at the shopping mall? Wasn’t she so pretty? Notice that nice guy walking down the street? Wasn’t he such a nice-looking person? These are some of the things that makes you interested in somebody, and it involves our five basic senses, especially our sense of sight. This is what is known as the power of passion.
Passion is the main element of love, since it primarily motivates you do like a particular person. This is based on our immediate physical perception, that’s why passion is first and foremost sensual and yup sexual. There is physiological arousal, or to put it simply, an intense desire for physical affection. And you know what it’s usually called: love at first sight.
Love at first sight is the stuff fairy tales are made of and movies make money out of. It’s all the magic feeling which turns two people into lovers and possibly husband and wife later on. To some, falling in love can be in an instant while for others it can take time to develop.
Now, does the word infatuation come yo your mind? Infatuation is best described as the feeling we usually associate with what we call a crush. You can be infatuated while having a crush on someone, and you can still be infatuated even after that crush has turned into a steady relationship. But while infatuation is normal, it’s actually part of the passion stage that a person in love should eventually outgrow. We’ll talk more about that later on.
Advice on Love Triangles: THE EMOTION THAT IS INTIMACY
Guy likes girl and makes friends with the girl. Girl responds positively to guy and guy invites girl to go out with him. Girl and guy then go out together and get to know each other. They understand each other better and they become closer and closer and closer and… This is intimacy the second main element of love.
Intimacy primarily means knowing each other a lot better, making the feelings of love more apparent. An intimate relationship has the markings of what is commonly known as a “soul mate” or “best friend” relationship-who doesn’t have a best friend, after all? Remember, everybody is looking for that special someone who wants to know us better that the rest. We want somebody to whom we can confide our inner feelings, our desires and emotions.
In a genuinely intimate relationship, there are feelings of honesty, trust, closeness, sharing and support. You care for each other and nobody else. When there is no intimacy in a relationship-any relationship there is consequently no feeling of unity and harmony. It’s like being together but feeling alone.
Advice on Love Triangles: THE LIFELONG CLASP OF COMMITMENT
The most beautiful moment in a wedding is when the officiator announces that two people are now husband and wife along with the words “you may now kiss the bride.” Everybody then applauds as two lips-and two hearts for that matter meet and feel the feeling of a lifetime.
What happens when two souls fully express their love for each other? They decide to be together, hopefully forever. They get married, live together, start a family and remain bound to each other for the rest of their lives. Doesn’t that sound so dreamy? That’s undoubtedly the highest element of true love commitment.
When two people are committed to each other, they look towards their future not separately but jointly. If two lovers don’t have commitment, says on philosopher, “we would be condemned to wander helplessly in the darkness of each person’s lonely heart.” Commitment is truly the glue that birds two hearts together – hopefully for a lifetime.
How Does Love Grow
Like a plant, love grows one day at a time. As relationship expert Roy R. Short describes it, “love involves meshing many, many faces of two personalities. You grow together and become a unit.” That’s because your partner becomes a basic part of your personality, or, in the classical sense, “become as one.” That’s why a breakup that takes a long time to heal is a sign that there was genuine love-because there was genuine loss.